April 1: Singapore, Day 3

Today could be most likened to being on an episode of Bizarre Foods: Singapore. This leg of the trip certainly has a culinary theme, as the two main highlights of this city/country are eating and shopping. Seeing as my bags are at capacity (and nothing would really fit me here anyway), sharing food with family has been the primary objective.

We ventured downstairs into the underground for brekkie, finding Terri's beloved Breadtalk. She had her pork floss bun (it's as disgusting as it sounds), and I had a chicken curry bun and a chocolate croissant. We later came across a Singaporean doughnut shop, but shockingly the place DOESN'T OPEN UNTIL 10 AM. Seriously? A doughnut shop that isn't open for breakfast? Sorry Singapore, but that's simply unacceptable.

We again met Ama and Aunt Esther for lunch, this time at Jalan Sultan Prawn Mee. The draw: Terri's beloved shrimp noodles. This dish has a shrimp-based broth with yellow noodles, as well as a few veggies (bean sprouts and chilis) thrown in. Whole prawns were perfectly cooked, bountiful, and ready to be devoured. It's been a wonderful advantage having Terri's family show us around. Basically Terri is picking the food, and they take us to the best spot in the city for that particular item. While I can't say prawn noodles were my favorite, Terri was in heaven. Seeing as she gets them maybe once every 2-4 years, I'm glad we went.

Some afternoon shopping at Tao Payoh Center produced a bag full of foods and jellies that I can neither pronounce nor wish to eat. They will most definitely land onto our pantry shelf in our kitchen I've labeled, "Land of Confusion." That's Terri's domain, and I stay away. I don't even let things I eat reside on that shelf. I want no part of it.

On the way home, we stopped at Auntie Annie's house for a visit. It was nice to see her, as she hosted our wedding banquet at her house for our last visit to Singapore. As it was, she had a pot of Bird's Nest Soup waiting for us. If you haven't heard of this, it's actually a bit of a delicacy in this part of the world (and quite expensive--about $50 to $100 a bowl in restaurants). It's made by harvesting the nests of the swallow bird. The swallow (or swift) creates its nest by using twigs and its saliva to glue them together. Ancient Chinese tradition reveals that to make the soup, you'd place the nests in a pot of boiling water or chicken broth. This will release the saliva/glue from the sticks. Once the nest is removed, the resulting water/saliva is mixed with a few more ingredients. And voila, you have Bird's Nest Soup! Once you get your mind over the fact that you're eating bird spit, it wasn't all that bad. The saliva was gelatinous and gummy, but it had a sweet taste to it with the warm broth. I wouldn't order it in a restaurant, but I'm proud to say I got my entire bowl down.

After some R+R and the hotel, it was back at it for the next round of interesting eats. Tonight was fish-head curry, as well as fried oat prawns and pepper crab. Let's take them one-by-one.

1. Fish Head Curry: Imagine the biggest fish head you've ever seen, a giant squid-looking eye, and piranha-like teeth jutting in all directions. Well, that's pretty much it. The fish head was big enough to cover your average size dinner plate, but a delicious spicy curry accompanied. The cheek meat was pretty tasty, and the curry went great with rice. I was offered the eyeball, but politely passed. Terri's Ama wasted no time, and you didn't need to ask her twice. The 90 year-old took it down like she was popping in a french fry. Damn, it was impressive.

2. Fried Oat Prawns: Pretty much self explanatory. Giant prawns breaded with oats, then deep-fried. Although the breading comes off with the shell, the oat taste remains with the meat. Loved it, especially with the fish-head curry sauce.

3. Pepper Crab: Pepper and Chili crab are usually served as a specialty at many seafood restaurants. Pepper crab is based more on the spice, not the chili pepper. I've had chili crab before, but I was shocked to learn the pepper crab was far tastier. It also reinforced I have no idea what I'm doing with this type of Sri Lankan crab, as I managed to get it all over myself. I'll do my best to keep Terri from posting those photos.

After dinner we all piled into the car in search of dessert. Auntie Esther knew exactly where to go. I've seen this food on many shows, yet to encounter it eye-to-eye. It's the spinous durian fruit, a variety they've appropriately named "Combat Durian." This thing is about the size of a small watermelon. It has porcupine-like spines around the entire sphere. We all pondered if in-fact anyone has ever been killed by one of these landing on their heads. They're heavy and the spines are very sharp. It's a fruit that appears to have come from the depths of hell. And not only due to appearance. The durian stinks. I mean it REALLY stinks. For example, you'll get a $500 fine if you're caught with one in the subway. Hotels do not allow you to bring them inside. We bought two of them, placed them in the trunk, and we could smell them THROUGH THE BACK SEAT as we drove to Ama's flat. The smell, you ask? My best description would be this: Raw chicken meat, thrown in a garbage can, forgotten about for two days, and then open it and take a big whiff. That's pretty much it. As disgusting as the smell is, the texture matches. It's slimy, pasty, and nearly gelatinous. The stench remains on your hands after touching the white, fleshy seeds (about the size of a crescent-shaped lime). Terri grabbed one, went straight to her mouth, and put it down like a champ. Now, my turn. Yeah. It didn't go so well. I had a bitter seed, and it tasted like a combination of sauteed onions and that bitter, rotten chicken described earlier. I don't think in my entire life I've eaten anything so foul. Regardless, I can checkmark that food. Durian. Check. And done. Shower on the way and double mouthwash rinse after toothbrushing. Good night, people. I've got work to do.

Addendum: While walking to the hotel from writing this blog entry, I was approached by a person of questionable gender. Actually, I'm quite certain of gender, but the feminine clothing didn't match the man-hands and adam's apple on his/her neck. I won't go into details, but certain services were offered, especially some type of nefarious massage that promised exciting conclusions. Yes, "bizarre" is the word of the day.